Pour celles qui parlent mieux que moi l'anglais!

[euphoria-3]

Bon,je me sens un peu gênée de demander cela,mais je n'ai plus vraiment le choix.Ayant été déscolarisée depuis la rentrée,j'ai un peu de mal à me remettre au niveau .En spé anglais (je suis en 1ère L),nous devons décrire une publicité.Je viens de me casser le nez deux heures dessus,et je suis presque sure que mon exposé ne veut strictement rien dire..On devra la présenter devant la classe,bien sur...
Donc voilà,je voulais savoir si quelqu'un pourrait m'indiquer les éventuelles fautes,et me donner son avis...(c'est une pub d'euro tunnel pour visiter les châteaux en ile de france).
Merci d'avance les filles!

This is an Advertising for a trip in Ile de France and business promoted by this poster is Euro Tunnel.First,We can see aclose up of a caslte,surely Versaille.It occupies half of the poster.In his right corner,there are other pictures of castles,smaller this time.A map of France shows where is is the region ile de france,and so where is destination of trip.Just above photo,a sentance attracts the eye:Just visiting the neighbours.That mean we musn't forget that there are other castles,not just Versailles. It therefore aims to encourage tourists to discover and visit other,as Marly-le-Roi,Rambouillet for exemple.The fact to put Versaille on the first means it is the most famous castle,a symbol of the Sun King and so France.
Then,a text shows that you can have fun, relax by visiting these castles, through many activities.A pun compare target to old kings.It's clever,because this give a positive image of the brand,and tourists are attracted by this idea. The flyer promised to visit the region as they like,by is culture and architecture.
I think it's a trip made to retirees,who have the time to learn about other cultures.So as not to tired they and have more time for visits,the distance is fast.But we can wonder about this merveillous picture of ile de france.We musn't forget traffics jams,pollution,violance,especialy racket on foreigners in railway stations and subway stations.It's also that,Ile de France.Nevertheless,i'm agree about the aesthetic and historical richness of this region.She absolutely deserves to be explored.To conclude,the world of advertising will remain what it has always been:a perfect and merveillous world.​

 

[Juny]

Coucou!
Je me suis permise de rectifier quelques trucs...

This is an Advertising for a trip in Ile de France and business promoted by this poster is Euro Tunnel.First,We can see aclose up of a caslte,surely Versaille.It occupies half of the poster.In THE right corner,there are other pictures of castles,smaller this time.A map of France shows where is is the ILE DE FRANCE REGION ,and so where is THE destination of THE trip.Just above THE photo,a sentance attracts ATTENTION:Just visiting the neighbours. IT meanS we musn't forget that there are other castles,THERE IS not just Versailles. It therefore aims AT ENCOURAGING tourists to discover and visit other CASTLES, SUCH as Marly-le-Roi,Rambouillet. To put Versailles on the first GROUND means it is the most famous castle,a symbol of the Sun King and OF France.
Then,a text shows that you can have fun, relax by visiting these castles, through many activities.A pun compare target to old kings.It's clever,because IT giveS a positive image of the brand,and tourists are attracted by this idea. The flyer promised to visit the region as they like,by is culture and architecture (?).
I think it's a trip made FOR retirees,who have the time to learn about other cultures.So as not to tired they and have more time for visits,the distance is fast.But we can wonder about this MARVELLOUS picture of ile de france.We musn't forget traffics jams,pollution,violence,especially racket on foreigners in railway stations and subway stations.It's also that,Ile de France.Nevertheless,I AGREE about the esthetic and historical richness of this region.IT absolutely deserves to be explored.To conclude,the world of advertising will remain what it has always been:a perfect and mARVEllous world.

Désolée pour les majuscules, ca fait un peu agressif mais c'était le plus rapide...
Bon exposé! ^^

 

[CreaM_ChantillY]

Comme ça je trouve que c'est tres bien.

 

[Yunfa]

C'est pas forcément bien mais j'ai corrigé tes fautes ils y avait des non sens aussi. Des fois tu dis un truc et derrière tu dis le contraire... et attentions aux fautes d'orthographe ou manque de majuscules

This is an Advertising for a trip in Ile de France and the company promoted by this poster is Euro Tunnel.First,we can see the close up of a castle,surely Versailles.It occupies half of the poster. In the right corner,there are other pictures of castles,smaller this time.A map of France shows where is located the region Ile-de-France, that is the destination of the trip. Just above the photos,a sentence catchs the eye: "Just visiting the neighbours". That means we musn't forget that there are other castles,not just Versailles. It therefore aims to encourage tourists to discover and visit others,as Marly-le-Roi,Rambouillet for example. The company put Versailles on the first plan to show that it is the most famous castle,a symbol of the Sun King and so of France.
Then,a text shows that you can have fun, relax by visiting these castles and through many activities.A pun compares target to old kings.It's clever,because this give a positive image of the brand,and tourists are attracted by this idea. The flyer promises visits of the region as they like, by its culture and architecture.
I think it's a trip made to retirees,who have X time to learn about other cultures.So as not to tired they and have more time for visits,the distance is fast. (tu voulais dire quoi ici?) But we can wonder about this marvellous picture of Ile-de-France. We musn't forget traffic jams, pollution, violence, especially racket on foreigners in railway stations and subway stations. Ile de France is also that.Nevertheless, I agree about the aesthetic and historical richness of this region. It absolutely deserves to be explored. To conclude,the world of advertising will remain what it has always been:a perfect and marvellous world.

bon j'avai corrigé en couleur sous traitement de texte donc si tu veu je te l'envoie tu verra mieux ce que j'ai changé (c'est bête que ça n'est pas pris en compte les couleurs sur mad...)

 

[Navy.]

Je n'ai pas tout lu, mais déjà, on ne dit pas plutôt "an advertisement" ?

 

[Juny]

Je n'ai pas tout lu, mais déjà, on ne dit pas plutôt "an advertisement" ?

SI! lol
Enfin je sais pas ici, on dit "an ad" tout court.

 

[Yunfa]

non non an advertising / an ad > une publicité et advertisment > la publicité (le métier) il me semble mais en tous cas là il y a pas de faute c'est sûr jvien de vérifier

 

[Navy.]

Justement, là il ne s'agit pas du métier, donc ce serait "an advertisement". On peut également dire "an ad" mais ma prof nous avait dit que c'était plus familier.

 

[euphoria-3]

So as not to tired they and have more time for visits,the distance is fast. (tu voulais dire quoi ici?)

Là,je veux dire que pour ne pas fatiguer les petits vieux ,et pour avoir plus de temps disponible afin de visiter la région,le trajet est rapide.
En tout cas,merci beaucoup pour votre aide,je passe demain à l'oral.Bouh,j'ai un peu les jetons de me retrouver face à ma classe,plus l'habitude

 

[Yunfa]

jsai pas si tu as reçu mon mail du coup j'avai retranscrit cette phrase dans le bon sens dans la version mailé lol

j'espère que ça s'est bien passé